Dana's Holiday Playlist.

I'm usually a huge Grinch this time of year, but I look forward to making my holiday playlist every year.,

Why You Should Never Play Uno

I thought that the most dangerous thing about playing Uno might be getting a paper cut from that thick card stock, or getting smacked by an overzealous player after you get them with a "Draw Four." How wrong I was.

Personal Question of the Week

Dana's Guilty Pleasure Playlist

I have to say, most of these aren't even guilty pleasures, because I'm not embarrassed about liking 70's cock rock, 80's hair metal, soft rock, etc.

The only TRUE guilty pleasures are the cheesy pop songs at the end of the playlist.

Top Ten Men who USED to be hot but are now gross.

1. Michael Jackson

2. Jared Leto

3. Marlon Brando (yes, I know he's dead but he went from EXTREMELY sexy to disgusting before he died)

4. Tom Cruise

5. Mickey Rourke

6. Val Kilmer

7. Vince Vaughn

8. Elvis Presley (see note on Brando)

9. Michael Madsen

10. Benicio Del Toro

Dana's Top Five

In honor of our friend Josh's comprehensive Top Five lists, I decided to make my own.

Top 5 All-Time

1. Paul Rudd
2. Adrien Brody
3. John Krasinksi
4. Ewan McGregor
5. Ryan Gosling

Top 5 Over 40

1. George Clooney
2. Clive Owen
3. Christopher Meloni
4. Hugh Jackman
5. Hugh Laurie

Top 5 Under 25 (but over 18)

1. Hunter Parrish (I can't find a photo of him where he looks older than 14... but he's legal and looks older in Weeds.)
2. Justin Chatwin
3. Shia LaBeouf
4. Rupert Grint
5. Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Top 5 Hispanic

1. Gael Garcia Bernal
2. Rodrigo Santoro
3. Mark Consuelos
4. Enrique Murciano
5. Benjamin Bratt

Top 5 African American

1. Lenny Kravitz
2. Boris Kodjoe
3. Taye Diggs
4. Shemar Moore
5. Romany Malco

Top 5 Musicians

1. Conor Oberst (Bright Eyes)
2. Sufjan Stevens
3. Jens Lekman
4. Fab Moretti (The Strokes)
5. Sondre Lerche

Top 5 Athletes

1. David Beckham
2. Jeremy Bloom
3. Andy Roddick
4. Tom Brady
5. Matt Leinart

Top 5 Guilty Pleasure Crushes

1. Adam Goldberg
2. Seth Green
3. Jason Schwartzman
4. Seth Rogen
5. Zach Braff

Top 5 When They Were Young/Thin/Alive

1. Harrison Ford
2. Marlon Brando
3. Paul Newman
4. Elvis Presley
5. Robert Redford

Top 5 Girl Crushes

1. Selma Blair
2. Scarlett Johansson
3. Winona Ryder
4. Audrey Tautou
5. Zooey Deschanel

Who needs Shark Week when we've got FART WEEK?

We've got a remote control fart machine at work that has given us MONTHS of enjoyment, even though nobody except a few of us thinks it's funny anymore.

Anyway, we've deemed this week FART WEEK. And in honor of FART WEEK, here are some NSFW clips of the best fart scenes we can think of.

Hollywood Knights:


South Park Movie:


Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle:


Eddie Murphy "Delirious":


The Nutty Professor:


Family Guy:


Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back:


Blazing Saddles:


Wet Hot American Summer:

Garbage Disposal

One of our contributors bought his wife a garbage disposal for her birthday (ah, romance), so I felt it appropriate to show this teeny little scene from Seinfeld to help him with the installation.

Shark Week - The Best and Worst Moments of Sharks in TV and Movies

This week is Shark Week on the Discovery Channel which prompted the conversation about the best and worst shark moments in television and movies.

Fonzie Jumps the Shark - Both literally and figuratively

This 2 part episode of Happy Days raised so many questions such as:

• Can you really surf on an ironing board?
• Why was the shark located under the ski jump?
• Did it just hang out there or was it in a cage?
• If it was in a cage, why did they put the cage under the ski jump?
• Is a leather jacket considered a flotation device?
• And finally, where do you take the show after an episode with this much drama?

Answer: downhill. This show never was the same after this episode. Ted McGinley and the girl from Poltergeist couldn’t even save this show. The one plus is that we did get the phrase “Jump the Shark” for television shows that past their prime.

Sharks with Freakin Lasers

Like Dr. Evil said, "even sharks are entitled to a hot meal". The following clip is from Austin Powers 3 - Gold Member. Freakin Awesome.



Jabber Jaw

The following is the intro to Jabber Jaw. The formula for a the Hanna Barbara mystery cartoons back in the 70's was the following: Put together a group of teens made up of a good looking girl and guy, then add in the nerd for the smart factor. Finally add a stoner and a non human buddy for the stoner such as a dog, a speed buggy, or even a shark that talked like Curly.




Jaws 5 Fire Island - Family Guy

The following video is a hilarious clip from Family Guy.



Land Shark

The following is a classic from SNL.



Shark Attack 3: Megalodon

The following clip is from Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. I think this is a Sci-Fi Channel movie. Not only is the acting horrible, but the scale of this shark keeps changing.



Batman vs. Shark

The following is from the original Batman Movie. No not the one with Michael Keaton, the real Batman - Adam West.

Tribute: The Robot

One of our co-workers is secretly a robot. She thinks we don't know, but we're on to her.

Here are some other fairly awesome robots, so that our robot friend will know there are others out there.

Robot B-9 from Lost in Space. "Danger! Danger! My hooks are flailing wildly!"


Rosie the robot maid from The Jetsons. Man, do I wish I had one of these.


C-3P0 and R2-D2. The Bert and Ernie of androids.


Number Five from Short Circuit. "Johnny Five... is ALIVE."


V.I.C.I. (Voice Input Child Identicant) from Small Wonder


The T-800 from Terminator. He'll be bock.


Tom Servo, Crow, and Gypsy from MST3K


The Fembots from Austin Powers.


Bender from Futurama.

Twiki from Buck Rogers

Bad Names for a Doctor

Today I heard a terrible name for a doctor. Dr. Harry Johnson. That's just a bad name. Why wouldn't you go by Harold? Anyway, it made me think of a list of bad doctor names me and a friend of mine came up with a few years ago. Don't ask why we did this, just enjoy.

• Dr. Frye (Burn Specialist)
• Dr. Phillip Hiscock (Urologist)
• Dr. Bob Katz (Veterinarian)
• Dr. Lance Boyle (Dermatologist)
• Dr. Pat McCann (Proctologist)
• Dr. Ben O'Drill (Allergist)
• Dr. Lou Stooth (Dentist)
• Dr. Phil Degrave (Forensic Pathologist)
• Sr. Sal Manilla (Dr. of Infectious Diseases
• Dr. Lana Cain (Specializes in Sun Burns)
• Dr. Guy Necologist (Gynecologist)
• Dr. Lou Katcooch (Gynecologist)
• Dr. Rusty Trombone (Sex Therapist)
• Dr. Bernie Tinkle (Urologist)
• Dr. Sal Lean (Optometrist)
• Dr. Rhett Ktumstink (Gastroenterologist)

80's Song Lyric Quiz

There are 222 song lyrics below. Each song was released between 1980 and 1989.

Name the song title AND the artist.

1. Suckin on chili dogs outside the Tastee Freeze
2. I've done no harm, I keep to myself
3. There's a freeway runnin' through the yard
4. I've seen a million faces and I've rocked them all
5. Your mom threw away your best porno mag
6. Can you hear them? They talk about us, telling lies, well that's no surprise
7. One that won't make me nervous, wonderin what to do
8. Are you more than hot for me, or am I a page in your history (book)
9. I can hear you comin, I know what you're after
10. And it's true we are immune when fact is fiction and TV reality
11. Don't go around breaking young girls' hearts
12. I've got my back against the record machine
13. You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand
14. A cloud appears above your head, a beam of light comes shining down on you
15. I'm lying in the rain, but I never wave bye bye
16. He's the one that makes ya feel alright
17. Are you happy, are you satisfied, how long can you stand heat
18. I think I thought you were someone else
19. I tried my imagination but I was disturbed
20. I tell you one and one makes three
21. I'll be stretching my mouth to let those big words come right out
22. And though she will mess up your life, you want her just the same
23. You can listen as well as you hear
24. Think of the tender things that we were working on
25. They gave you life and in return you gave them hell
26. Knew he must've been about seventeen
27. I am the maker of rules, dealing with fools
28. Can't get food for the king
29. Step on a crack, break your momma's back
30. Her hair reminds me of a warn safe place where as a child I'd lie
31. You're like the sun chasing all of the rain away
32. Everyone you meet, they're jamming in the streets
33. I'm not internationally known, but I'm known to rock microphone
34. Every time I see you falling, I get down on my knees and pray
35. We'll take your car, yes we will, we'll take your car and drive it
36. I said to my reflection "Let's get out of this place"
37. Easy ready willing overtime
38. The five years we have had have been such good times
39. Didn't know how lost I was until I found you
40. People of the world today are we looking for a better way of life
41. You in that dress my thoughts I confess verge on dirty
42. I'm about to lose control and I think I like it
43. Write it on a pound note, pound note
44. We are strong, no one can tell us we're wrong
45. Out on the road today, I saw a deadhead sticker on a Cadillac
46. Caught up in the action I've been looking out for you
47. An invisible man sleeping in your bed
48. But somewhere sometime when you're curious, I'll be back around
49. I know her love is true but it's so damn easy makin' love to you
50. Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones
51. And incidents arose from circumstance
52. You know I like my girls a little bit older
53. You always live your life never thinking of the future
54. Now we're sharing the same dreams, and our hearts can beat as one
55. She don't need a man's touch
56. She'll get a hold on you, believe it
57. You're everywhere, but you're so hard to find
58. You want your percentage, but I'm the fool paying the dues
59. No April rain, no flowers' bloom, no wedding Saturday within the month of June
60. There's a skeleton chokin' on a crust of bread
61. With my body and soul I want you more than you'll ever know
62. I used to think maybe you loved me, now I know that it's true
63. Animals strike curious poses
64. Religion is a light in the fog
65. I don't know where I'm goin' but I sure know where I've been
66. If you want to find all the cops they're hanging out in the donut shop
67. And there's a heart that's breaking down this long distance line tonight
68. I'm always workin', slavin', every day
69. Feel like I could run away, run away from this empty heart
70. Kick off your Sunday shoes
71. Daddy says she's too young, but she's old enough for me
72. He turned to me as if to say, "Hurry boy, it's waiting there for you"
73. You're not naive, you must be strong
74. Darken the city night is a wire, steam in the subway earth is afire
75. She had the body of a venus, Lord imagine my surprise
76. I can't help recalling how it felt to kiss and hold you tight
77. Will you meet him on the main line or will you catch him on the rebound?
78. Watching every motion in this foolish lover's game
79. You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day
80. Loving would be easy if your colours were like my dream, red, gold and green
81. They threw an American flag in our face
82. When I'm dancing close to her, I can smell the chemicals
83. She told me to come but I was already there
84. Streetlight people, living just to find emotion
85. It belongs to them, let's give it back
86. Everything you do is quite angelicate
87. Rolling like thunder under the covers
88. I don't know what you expect staring into the TV set
89. My eyes dilate, my lips go green
90. I touch you once, I touch you twice
91. To have you with me I would swim the seven seas
92. Crazy little woman in a one man show
93. Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
94. Got in a little hometown jam, so they put a rifle in my hand
95. There is freedom within, there is freedom without
96. But whatever road you choose, I'm right behind you win or lose
97. I need fifty dollars to make you holler
98. So let's sink another drink `cause it'll give me time to think
99. Goddess on the mountain top
100. Couldn't see how much I missed you (now I do)
101. They even bother my poor father `cause he's down with me
102. Where can I find a woman like that
103. Paul, I think I told you I'm a lover not a fighter
104. Mine's an ordinary life, working when it's daylight and sleeping when it's night
105. I had a whiskey on the rocks and change of a dollar for the jukebox
106. Just don't ask me how I am
107. Your lights are on but you're not home
108. Take your passion and make it happen
109. That little faggot he's a millionaire
110. I was wrong, now I find just one thing makes me forget
111. So if you're feeling low, turn up your radio
112. It's no better to be safe than sorry
113. Darlin' in my wildest dreams I never thought I'd go
114. The road is long, there are mountains in your way
115. The Salvation Army band played and the children drank lemonade
116. The more you live, the faster you will die
117. I've got a secret I've been hiding under my skin
118. I love you though you hurt me so
119. Wouldn't wanna be swept away, far away from the one that I love
120. The sheik he drove his Cadillac
121. She showed me the beach, gave me a peach, and pulled out the suntan lotion
122. Two silhouettes saying goodnight by the garden gate
123. Have some more chicken, have some more pie
124. I asked the doctor to take your picture so I could look at you from inside as well
125. Well it's all right riding around in the breeze
126. I'm just going to keep on counting until you are mine
127. Every time you call my name, I heat up like a burnin' flame
128. This is it boys, this is war
129. I can't understand what makes a man hate another man
130. I can't sleep at night, I toss and turn
131. I know you really want to tell me goodbye
132. Food is served and you're stone cold munchin'
133. Don't let go while I'm hangin' on, `cause I been hangin' on so long
134. We can dance, everybody look at your hands
135. know a place where we can dance the whole night away underneath electric stars
136. I know a good thing must come to an end but it's hard to take losing a friend
137. Well Superman looked up at me, he said "You rock so naturally"
138. You can say anything you like, but you can't touch the merchandise
139. You want a piece of my heart, you better start from the start
140. But when the wrong word goes in the right ear, I know you been lyin' to me
141. I follow where my mind goes
142. What's your definition of dirty, baby
143. We'll leave the TV and the radio behind
144. All you sittin' in high places, the rain's gonna fall on you
145. I turn the switch and check the number, I leave it on when in bed I slumber
146. So when the night falls, my lonely heart calls
147. So you better go back to your bars, your temples, your massage parlors
148. Did you really think about it before you made the rules
149. So you think my singing's out of time, well it makes me money
150. Across the north and south to Key Largo, love for sale
151. Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
152. I swear that I could see forever in your eyes
153. Nothing had the chance to be good, nothing ever could
154. Take my license and all that jive
155. Well by the force of will my lungs are filled, and so I breathe
156. Dreams stay with you like a lover's voice fires the mountainside
157. No huggin' no kissin' til I get a wedding ring
158. I don't worry `cause my wallet's fat
159. Sister's sighing in her sleep
160. Better make it fast or else I'm gonna get pissed
161. Wish I knew what you were looking for
162. What's your price for flight
163. I know a guy who's tough but sweet
164. And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone
165. Why do I find it so hard to write the next line, oh I want the truth to be said
166. Every time he pulls me near, I just wanna cheer
167. Put the needle on the record
168. Whoa no, I've got to keep on moving
169. Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark
170. I stain my sheets, I don't even know why
171. There were incidents and accidents, there were hints and allegations
172. I can't get any rest, people say I'm obsessed
173. She dances like she's never danced before
174. Do your fancy dances
175. Your moves are so raw, I've got to let you know you're one of my kind
176. Get up, get up, get up, get up, let's make love tonight
177. But when I win your heart, I'm gonna paint it cherry red
178. All the doors I closed on time will open up again
179. Dream of better lives, the kind which never hate
180. You can feel the punishment but you can't commit the sin
181. I'm not the one to tell you what's wrong or what's right
182. He wants me, but only part of the time
183. People don't you know, don't you know it's about time
184. You were the first, you'll be the last
185. You think you're mad, too unstable, kicking in chairs and knocking down tables
186. Your heart's been achin' but you're too shy to say it
187. The only one who'll hang out with me is my dear Old Granddad
188. Things are going great, and they're only getting better
189. So you better treat her right
190. It's time to bring this ship in to the shore and throw away the oars forever
191. We are the ones who make a brighter day, so let's start giving
192. We could dance and party all night, and drink some cherry wine
193. Dressed up like a million dollar trooper
194. You've got to find a way, say what you want to say
195. Sail away with me to another world
196. I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on
197. Welcome to the big time, you're bound to be a star
198. Yo no soy marinero, por ti sere, por ti sere, por ti sere
199. Work all day to earn his pay, so we can play all night
200. Ever since you've been leaving me, I've been wanting to cry
201. Baby baby when I look at you, I get a warm feeling inside
202. And when we hear the voices sing, the book of love will open up and let us in
203. Some of them want to abuse you, some of them want to be abused
204. He's licking his lips, he's ready to win, on the hunt tonight for love at first sting
205. I have a picture pinned to my wall
206. I can see a new horizon underneath the blazin' sky
207. You'll flow down her river, she'll ask and you'll give her
208. Earth below us drifting falling floating weightless
209. Ooh baby, do you know what that's worth?
210. I know when to pull you closer and I know when to let you loose
211. Let me hear your body talk
212. Won't you pack your bags, we'll leave tonight
213. The beating of our hearts is the only sound
214. And if this world runs out of lovers, we'll still have each other
215. Is it so wrong to be human after all?
216. There is good and bad (mmmm hmmm) in everyone
217. Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?
218. It's gonna take money, a whole lotta spendin' money
219. I'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that
220. It must've been some kind of kiss, I shoulda walked away
221. You see it all around you, good lovin' gone bad
222. Ronny, Bobby, Ricky and Mike, if I like a girl, who cares who you like

Source

An oldie but goodie - the real-life Simpsons

This has been around for a while but I'm so excited to see the Simpsons movie this weekend and I wanted to give the show a little love.

Will it Blend - Glow Sticks

I always wondered what would happen if I broke open a light stick.

Human Tetris

We're Not Candy